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Das Buch der Elfenwitze ~ The Book of Elf-Jokes

Актуален для игр: River of Time

Местонахождение: Надорет (Тихий Алрик)

Данный предмет становится доступен после установки немецкой или английской версии мода Тихий Алрик.

A maiden from Kuslik is walking through the forest together with a young elf. Her mother and his father are following them out of decency. Suddenly, the young lovers are gone. The mother asks alarmed: «What are the both of them gonna do now?»
But the old elf just calms her down: «I’m sure they will come soon.»

Question: Do elves eat meat as well?
Answer: Yes, the flesh of fruit.

Said one ogre to another: «I like elves - roasted, grilled, boiled…»

Question: What is the difference between a tree and an elf?
Answer: If you kick a tree, it won’t philosophize about it for the next hour.

Question: What does an elf have in common with a bunny?
Answer: Both run away into the forest twisting and turning when they see a dwarf coming!

Question: How many elves does it take to prepare a supper?
Answer: Just one, but he should be juicy!

Question: How many elves does it take to kill a cow?
Answer: Twenty-five - Twenty-four to lift the cow into the air and one to eat all the grass.

An elf passes a meadow with a cow standing on it.
The cow asks: «Would you like some of my grass?»
The elf answers: «No thanks, I’m on a diet.»

One orc asks another: «What does an elf have in common with a tree? - Both are things your axe belongs in.»

An elf comes home to his wife carrying dung in his hands. He says: «Hey woman, look what I would nearly have stepped into!»

Question: What is the difference between a wood-elf and a dark-elf?
Answer: The wood-elf removes the squirrel from the knothole before having sex.

Two elves go fishing, rent a boat and are making a good catch.
The first elf says: «We have to flag this place!» and he paints a big cross to the bottom of the boat.
But the second elf says: «I think it won’t work. Next time we will surely get a different boat.»

An elf is found in a dwarven mine with twenty-two stabs in his back. A dwarven medic is called and investigates the matter intensely. Finally, he draws his conclusion: «This is the most horrible case suicide that I have ever seen.»

Question: How many elves does it take to change the burnt-down candle of a lantern?
Answer: Six high-elves to preserve the elemental balance, one wood-elf who is against it all, a firn-elf to blame Pardona, and a meadow-elf to explain why it is all the dwarves’ fault anyway.

One dwarf talks to another: «Do you know the story about the elf who went into the forest with a rope in his hand?»
«No, but I think it starts off rather well.»

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